MY 101 :

Complex or Spinny... remains to be seen.

1.   I am not a high school graduate; dropped-out in the middle of grade 12 (ouch) in favor of a fulltime job opportunity.   That job was delivering pizza.  (you're giving some 17yr old guy the key's to the company car, your gas, your insurance, to drive around all night deliving pizza's to parties for tips?  Hell I'd still be doing it now if I could.)

2.   I did graduate from the horseback riding course though... go figure.

3.   It takes me a day to decide when someone asks me what my favorite (colour, number, flavour) thing is - i hate that question.  (colours for example - each has it's own beauty, each i love for different reasons at different times - how can you pick just one?)   I want it all lol.

4.   There is NOTHING in with world more repulsive than the sight of a man wearing spandex... that's just sumthin' I cannot deal with.  I don't even care if you ride bikes, men aren't meant for spandex...  i'm sorry, you look like idiots.

5.   I can touch my nose with my tongue.  I was thinking of having the length of my tongue printed on my business cards actually. (not that i'm proud...)

6.   My virginity ended at an early age.  I remember my very first time -  I was scared, omg was I scared.  I was all alone...

7.   Many people take my jokes way too seriously, some even think me putting myself down is a sign of low self-esteem, etc.   Fact is I'm the more self assured confident guy you'll ever wanna meet, the jokes a reflection of that and of my humour never coming at the expense of someone else.   :-)

8.   I was not placed on this planet to sit in judgement of other people, and I do not.  I try to avoid forming opinion against others... I might not like them but so long as they go their way and I go mine they have just as much right to be a prick as I have to be whatever it is that I am.   (i don't 'have' to deal with them)

9.   I don't watch tv; don't know who Raymond is or who loves him; I don't know who the survivors are other than two are getting married - why anyone cares I dunno.  I had a friend try telling me about star wars, and she went back to the dawn of time telling me every twist in the plot - and omg i really couldn't careless in the first place.  (30mins later and i'm staring at her - i forgot she was still talking, thank god she didn't ask me anything...)

10.  The coolest number the phone company ever gave me was 263-6666.

11.  My hair SUX.  It doesn't do anything... yeah i'm a guy but omg just to look difference just ONCE.  On the rare morning I wake up with bedhead and i'm just thrilled, omg I put my hat on at work so I don't look like a moron but damned if i'm getting rid of it.

12.  I don't have anything pierced, I don't wear chains, nor necklaces, I don't do guys skincare products.   All the power to those guys that do [i guess], but damned if I ever will.  I just don't do jewellery or make-up or need holes in my face that you can hang your keys from... not that there's anything wrong with it.

13.   pending.  Actually 13 can be the fact I type like crap, actually i'm so bad i type with one finger staring at the keyboard... i play my wargame and I'll have some enemy dude blow me away before i can say 'hi all'.   Anyways my finger's cramping up bad, so i'm gonna grab some mydol - and bb once the throbbing stops. (my luck, of all the places to have something throbbing, this ain't it.)

...how's my list so far, insightful enuf ?   Anyone wanna be my friend?  lol lol lol...

14.   I talk WAY too much.   Ask me anything - bet all answer, it won't matter what the question is.  HAHAHA - any takers?  (this should be interesting)  Oh stfu bob...

:-)  ok, maybe i should be a bit more personal (are there rules to 101?)

15.  I've never spent a day in a hospital, never have had any broken bones, never had any sexually transmitted anything, never been sick enough.  I have literally watched at least five people die; maybe getting used to it's a good thing because at least I know to enjoy every single minute I can, and not be afraid when it's over. 

16.  I'm not at all "where i want to be" in life - not by a long shot. 

17.  I'll never admit this at the 'guy's meetings', but I do love certain musicals.   Due to a certain old girlfriend "Dr Zhivago" is a classic, "Jesus Christ Superstar" gives me chills - not cause of religion necessarily but omg you listen to some of the singers - Mary Magdolin especially.  "The Blues Brothers" - motown oh yeah.   I even took an old girlfriend to the opera once - "The Nutcracker". ( i fell asleep - she was so pissed, i was the one who ended up with their nuts in a vice thank u)

18.  I get more turned on by a woman with clothes on - than off.  I'm not saying Eskimo women in parka's and mucklucks give me hard-ons... but there's more adventure and mystery in unwrapping than there is with the box already open.  [or shall i rephase that...]   And there's something about bra's that is my achille's heel - well it's my achille's sumthin'.   Even just the sight of a bra strap, i'm such a weak weak man...

19.  I can't do poetry unless it starts with 'there once was a woman from ___", I can't draw a picture without a ruler, I can't create depth and dimension, I just don't have that connect to that side of my brain.  People that do - that can express themself I am in awe of, for the life of me i cannot... all the credit in the world to you for just seeing some blogs out there is humbling.

20.  I deal with physical pain better than anyone I know.  I smashed my finger once with a hammer so bad it like exploded, I was making big biker-guys wanna puke.  I had wisdom teeth removed and came home to mow the lawn... I had my finger cutt-off - had to go to emergency to get it put back on, went to work the next morning who cares.   

21.  It's the emotional pains I have problems coping with.  I worry about everyone I know, I care for my friends and those around me to the extreme.  (i'm not all obsessive about it - but i'm good at the loyal, faithful got-your-back friend stuff).  But I worry way too much.

22.  I'll never understand why guys are too embarresed to by tampons.  WTF guys - you think the cashier thinks they're for you?   At least you're proving you live with a woman - even if it is for your sister or mom, the cashier don't know that.  Hell I buy my condoms in the bulk packs hoping for a price check.      Guys who don't like clothes-shopping with women are idiots too.  Yeah it can be long and boring for some - but hey I'M THERE for the fashion show. (yummy!!!)   Damned right I am, and proud to carry your bags for sure.   (just don't expect me to ask anyone for directions on the drive there...)

23.  I have 3 jobs, one of them is at a hotel, another is looking after kids - which i'm using as my exit... i gtg!   Yeah i'm cheating, but i'm pretty darned boring and 101 things to talk about - c'mon.  Plus i want to get some online war-gaming in before my typing/trigger finger gets totally trashed... lolz.   bb, cheers!

Ok, keep plugging away...

24.  NO way I'm going on Fear Factor - jump off buildings, run harsh obstacles sure.  Eat some of the rude animal parts and bugs they do - not a chance.  There's not much I won't eat, but if I look at some african bug that's as big as my fist I'll hurl... how can you kiss someone after eating something like that anyway???

25.  I'm not thin.  I'm streamlined.

26.  I LOVE storms.  We're on the westcoast and never have extreme weather (unless you count our 40days/40nights rainfalls) - but omg to experience a prairie thunder and lightning storm.  Ours are tame compared to theirs I hear... storms are great, I get so jazzed.

27.  There's nothing like being in the bathroom as a woman is getting ready... it's one of my favorite places.  The smells, the beauty, watching them put their make-up on, it's a thrill for my senses - and it's like living art.   I love watching it so much.

28.  I'm a caffiene freak, never without a cup of coffee (2 sugars and too much cream plz)... on my more forgetful/too lazy to go get it days I'll have 2or3 cups going at once at the hotel.   I'm not into flavoured coffees, blah.

29.  Black licorice is the devils work.

30.  I live to cuddle and hold hands - and the people that think kissing in public is bad or unseenly are just so bent.  (all the evil that happens out there and you gotta find fault with public displays of affection?)   I love cuddles, hour-long foreplay, all that good stuff... i'll even talk after.

31.  One of the sides of my moustache is always slightly longer than the other - damned if i ever can get it right, and i'm scared the more i try to get it even, the more likely i'll end up looking like adolf hitler.

A brilliantly beautiful flaming hot day - we'll go with orange.  Past that, despite the intent to put some thought into what i'm saying next... i have not (procrastination is a wonderful thing).  So i'll made this easy on me - do'es and do not's.

32.  I do smoke the occasional joint.   I do not turn into some character out of cheech and chong, and i stopped giggling uncontrollably ages ago.

33.  I don't drink or eat skim, low-fat, 2%, reduced, medium anything (given my choice).   What's the point of 1% milk?  I mean if it's to the point you're buying just 1% of anything... why even bother.  Or medium cheddar cheese - yes i'd like cheese with just half the flavour but whole price please.  I just don't get it, why settle for less.  All or nothing baby.

34.   I don't drink alcohol much.  Most people think that means I don't drink or got issues with alcohol... that's wrong.  I do, will, enjoy a drink... it's just not usually my first choice preference.    There's a good and bad about not drinking much; it means i'm usually my friends DD... no-one gets hurt by idiocy.  Watching people who are pissed is pretty damned funny sometimes.   The bad is I get drunk way way way to easy - omg i'm sad.  If i was a woman i'd be SO popular... overly friendly + extremely gullible + easy drunk = not a good combination.  (i embarress myself SO much)  Actually i don't want to even talk about it...

35.  I've done coke - 'been there,done that', wasn't overly interested but was fun at the time, have no interest to do again.   I've done speed (crystal meth) - was even less interested, even at the time it didn't seem much fun, although my 'appearance was a brief one' have zero interest to do again mostly because of the people meth seems to appeal to.  (i'm not being mean or trying to diss - facts are facts, i was there). 

36.  I have never done acid (hallucinating just never held that appeal it does others), never injected myself with anything (that's just rude, i'm sorry/nothing personal), generally I'm just not into chemicals.  That includes cold medicines and painkillers - I'll take the pain over the chemicals thx.

37.  My worst addictions - cigarettes, cannibus, caffiene and chocolate; neither of which i'm in any rush to quit... all of which i feel are okay in moderation lol.  (and personally i couldn't careless what other people do - i'm not on this planet to judge people by what they do - but who they are.)  And if pot every once in awhile is the worst i do - well at least i'm not doing something i've little tolerance level for... being all stupid, saying silly stuff and puking on my shoes.

38.  I'd always rather be listening to tunes.  Look into my window as you walk by, and i'll probably be poppin' around - even if i'm sitting at my computer.  Country, western, rock, roll, jazz, most rap, metal, i don't care just give me rythym.

39.  I'm told - by everyone - I'm loud.  (they're all wrong).  They say i'm not loud in a rude way... i'm just 'enthusiastic'.  (they're just trying to cover their butts).

40.  I always do everything in a hurry (i don't mean half-assed... i do thing well, just always rushed).  I was raised by a single mom with a full-time job, two young kids, and everything else a parent and person has to deal with... omg she could cook a 3 minute egg in 30 seconds, and this was BEFORE microwaves.  Alot of her having to do everything in a hurry rubbed off.

41.  I can and will dance in any bar, anywhere - all i ask is you not drag me up on the floor unless at least one other couple is there.  Nobody ever listens to me when i say that - and i wish just ONCE one of you women would.   I'm not saying i'm a good dancer - but I don't look goofy doing it, and it seems i'm one of the rare guys that will.  (i'm not a huge fan of dancing either guys - but omg do you have any idea how popular the guys are that do... because of you?  thanks!)

42.  I absolutely positively HATE socks.  Hate em.   I'll wear them when I have to - but omg i hate the damned things.  (generally i'm not a big fan of clothes period - summer's my season.  Shorts - that's it.  Sandals too at the most, at all chances possible)   But socks... the devil's work pt.2

43.  I'm often told i'm one of those people who's car matches my personality perfectly.    > I don't have one.

... always leave em laughing.   'night all !   I'm going to go play my online wargame now and rifle, grenade & bash my friends lol  <evilgrin>               :P out.

44.  I have a daughter living with her mom (long story on mom and i; leaving daughter rips my heart out... but how can i even in good intent seperate a mother from a daughter.   No can do.     I live in a house with a roommate and her kids - and basically do the guy thing here.

45.  I'm kind to telemarketers.  I won't answer any call that displays 'private or blocked' caller  - don't expect me to answer the phone if you don't want me knowing who you are; but if i get caught i'll be hating it - but i won't treat them like crap.  I'm sure they're not their cause they wanna be, at least they're trying to earn... the least i can do is keep a civil tongue when i say no.

46.  I'll kick ANYONES butt at cribbage, snooker, or trivia.  Ok maybe snooker i should chill with - but cribbage or trivia... come get owned.

47.  I've got this thing for stationary.   Pens, post-it notes, rules, write-out, give me an office and i'm content.   God knows why.

48.  I can't drive without the window open.   Sunshine, rain, snow - it needs to be at least cracked, and ideally the music cranked.

49.  I LOVE speed, i can never be going fast enough. 

50.  I ski and ice skate, but i've never learned how to stop.

51.  I have german heritage and relatives (well, used to),  believe myself to have participated in WW2 as a luftwaffe pilot (long story), and speak keine deutsche... took 3 years of German in school.   Actually i wanted to take french (being canadian it's only fitting)... but i wanted to know what the german generals were saying in the movies without having to read the subtitles.

Acht zu leiben, ja wohl!   Vielen Dank so sehr viel meine guten Freunde, werde ich später zurückkehren. Frieden, Liebe und Glück! Ich werde hoffen, dass Sie Heim sicherer Amazon sind.    ;-)

52.   I am extremely ticklish - and i HATE it.  People use it against me all the time, it freaks me - i just can't deal with it... and i'm guarenteed to run headlong into a wall if you don't stay the hell away from me when i'm in OMFG mode.   I don't even want to think about it...

53.   I won't have sex on the first date i don't care who you are... i'm not that desperate and if i was i could get some from people i know.  (i'm healthy - and dammit i'm staying that way)   I would hope you're worth the wait... if you're not i shouldn't even be there anyway.

54.  Melons are just plain rude.  Cantalope [however you spell them] to watermelon i can't even stand the smell.

55.  I don't ride pedal bikes.  Did when i was a kid going to school, you won't catch me dead on one now.

56.  I can't read roman numberals, CXVIII would take me half a day to figure out.

57.  Food fight, water balloon wars, snowball fight, flame war, some drunk doofus saying something ignorant to any woman i'm with... i LOVE a good scrap.   And i'll always win.

58.  I love the way a woman looks just as she's getting out of bed.  Yummy.

59.  I live for my online wargame, I'm the colonel of a clan - and i kickass.  I try to avoid the players who don't have good skills - i made someone named Samantha leave today [i think i killed her lots - maybe that's why she disconnected] and i felt so bad.  But then again - shouldn't be playing a wargame if you have problems with dying... we all bleed.  Nuthin like clubbing a friend with your rifle butt i always say.

60.  I always jab myself in the eye with the mike when i'm putting my headset on.  I do have skills, but i'm uncoordinated as hell.

61.  I HATE our phone (especially when i'm the only one home).  brb...

:P !